Join the Conversation – Lasting couple relationships: Recent research findings and implications for practice

This webinar was held as part of the CFCA Focus on… Strong couple relationships.

The webinar outlined recent research findings into couples in long-term relationships (married and de facto) that provide insight into the couple relationship over time. The implications for practice were also outlined.

The webinar was presented by:

  • Robyn Parker, Senior Manager, Research & Evaluation, Interrelate; and
  • Rosalie Pattenden, Counselling psychologist.

This forum can be used to post questions or comments, and to engage in discussion of the issues raised during the webinar. Robyn and Rosalie have generously volunteered to respond to questions submitted to this forum. Please type your comment or question into the Comments field below.

A recording of the webinar, with presentation slides and a transcript, will be made available on our website in the next few weeks.

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  1. I work with many couple who struggle with the presence of and effects of jealousy, obsession, paranoia. Either one or both partners have often experienced traumatic experiences in their upbringing and describe different attachment styles. One partner may describe ‘avoidant’ attachment – the world is dangerous, or precoccupied ‘everyone else is OK, but not me’.
    Do you have any suggestions as to how to reduce the presence and effects of jealousy? and I wonder if it is helpful for clients to understand their different attachment styles?

    Comment by Natina Eggleton — June 19, 2014 @ 4:41 pm

  2. Jealousy is a pretty normal feeling if we feel that someone is a ‘predator’ and is trying to engage our partner in a relationship, or if our partner is showing ‘too much’ interest in someone outside the relationship. But sometimes because of some relationship trauma where we have not been safe in a relationship, with a family of origin member (eg. if our sibling was the favorite, and we didn’t get the love needed) or a past relationship, the jealousy alarm can be too active, and then everything becomes a threat (even a saucy movie).

    In these instances I think I would look at the strength of the alliance between the two partners first, and then explore the trauma and try and understand the fears in order to get them in perspective for the present relationship. I don’t think I would consider talking about attachment styles until then, but if there is an avoidant partner, and the anxious partner is jealous simply because they can’t engage the avoidant one enough to feel secure, I would then talk about attachment styles. I hope this helps.

    Rosalie Pattenden

    Comment by Rosalie Pattenden — June 23, 2014 @ 10:15 am

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